You’ve done all you can to micromanage the wedding planning process, you feel ready, but… what could you be forgetting? Let’s break down all of the disaster-moments that I’ve seen time and time again. In 120 weddings, I’ve picked up a few very important tips and today I’m going to share ALL of the secrets so your big day has ZERO hiccups.
***BTW this is written to you, the bride, so when I refer to “you,” I mean the bride who is reading this!
Hair & Makeup / Getting Ready
A. Make sure you have your own HMUA. You don’t want your hair and makeup to be rushed because they have to move on to a bridesmaid. Conversely, if you are having HMU for bridesmaids, make sure they start SUPER early and they are ALL DONE before you. The second you’re ready to get in your dress and there’s some lagging girl who doesn’t want their photo without makeup, yet we need the “robe pics” and to move on with the day, they don’t realize they are holding up the entire show.
Also, start HMU SUPER early. Like, if your first look is at 1PM, start at 9AM. No one wants to be rushed on their wedding day! Hot Tip: Having bridesmaids do their own hair and makeup will save you money, time, and hassle. Also, so many people hate how others do their makeup and it saves you from complainy bridesmaids. (No offense to them but I like to call them the “least helpful people at a wedding”)- quite funny when the whole entire point of them originally hundreds of years ago was to HELP the bride. Who ends up fluffing the dress? Putting on the jewelry? the shoes? It’s me. It’s always me. Who knows where those girls go. Moving on.
B. Have a backup lip color that is your own. When the HMU people do your lips, it’s like noon. There’s no way it will last through photos, snacks, kisses, sweat, etc. and the tiny little “sample thing” that HMUA give is really annoying and inconvenient. So, get your own of the same color or get the same one. Also, while we are on lip color, I highly recommend you go “lighter” and not darker. Dark lips on wedding days often take away from all the other pretty features of your dress, face, makeup, flowers. It just slaps you in the face when you stare at the photo. Also, if you have smaller lips, it becomes very, very old-woman obvious. Red is fine if you’re going for that vintage hollywood look, otherwise, leave the drama for the eyes and do a more neutral lip.
C. Do hair TIGHT. VERY TIGHT. You almost want to see your hair at first and think “this is too tight and bridal.” If it looks all wind blown in the morning it will look all “girl just got back from the club” when you say “I do.” I know it is annoying to do a first look photo with tighter curls, but it will fall out to something way better later.
D. When you’re getting ready, there are a TON of photos that get taken. People forget to keep things tidy and sometimes they don’t even think about getting a venue with a cute getting ready area, and half the day is spent in that room! Make sure to have your flowers in the room, so we can use them for photos. Try to keep ugly solo cups, plastic, etc. to a minimum. You can get cute glasses from THE DOLLAR STORE so that the room doesn’t look like a college frat party in the back of your photos. You don’t need to personalize everything btw. No one needs their name on 17 items, we are all adults, we can keep track of our bag, drinks, jewelry (for goodness sake!)
E. THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT. Please think RIGHT NOW about WHO is getting you in your dress. At that pivotal moment, you are going to need all bridesmaids 100% done (for robe pics) but then the person who is getting you in your dress has to be 100% ready in wedding attire. Is your Mom getting you in your dress? I’ve seen too many times where the Mother of the Bride is in sweat pants with no makeup and we have to just keep her out of the photos because it is embarrassing. Tell them they need to be 100% ready when you are supposed to get in your dress. Plz & tnx.
F. Make sure you have this list of items in ONE BAG ready for me when I arrive at the scene:
2 copies of your invitation (so I can showcase front and back)
both his/hers rings + ring boxes
jewelry
purfume/cologne
shoes from both bride/groom
garter
few extra flowers that aren’t in bouquets for detail photos
vow books
ribbon or extra nicknacks
G. Specify who tf is going to be pinning all 10 boutonnieres on the boys and make sure they are there in the middle of getting ready to do it for the guys. Guys don’t know how to do this sh*t! I’ve seen blood. They won’t do it unless someone is there to be like, “everyone, now it’s time to stop drinking beer and put on these boutonnieres!” Even if they take their jacket back off, get them on. I can’t tell you how many times I have had to put down my camera for 20 min just to put them on every single dude.
First Look
A. There is always a nosey bridesmaid who wants to butt their head into your special moment. Trust me, it’s even more awkward to have only one person watch than everyone down the isle. Try to make first look’s more intimate. Find a place in the shade beforehand that is kind of “away” from others. Your groom might cry, he doesn’t want Tiffany, your childhood BFF to be taking snapchats.
B. Focus on showing him YOU. Spin around, fluff the dress, show him the back. Get those oohs and awes.
C. You can kiss! Don’t hesitate to kiss your partner when you see them. Take in the moment.
Family/Wedding Party Pre-Ceremony Photos
A. While you are doing the first look, the bridal party needs to be assembling. Boutonnieres on, jackets on, phones and wallets out of the front pockets, ladies in heels, everybody ready to go. These photos don’t take long, but it is highly annoying when we are waiting for people. This is YOUR DAY. It’s like herding cats and people just need to be told they need to get their booties out there. This all helps if they know ahead of time.
B. BIG ONE. I’ve had wedding planners come in (while the bride is literally still in their robe) and be like “it’s time for the first look,” uh, no it’s not lady. Obviously we can’t skip all of the photos in the dressing room just to stick to some lady’s schedule. I know how much time things take. It’s okay if we run late. As long as we hide the bride 1 hr before the ceremony, we will NOT run out of time. Quite often, we have EXTRA time because TOO MUCH time was allotted for pre-ceremony pics. Make sure your wedding planner knows not to be a nuisance. If you’re not ready, you’re not ready and it’s going to BE FINE.
C. If you can have your closest and most important family there 1.5 hours before the wedding for photos, this is the only way to ensure that they’ll make it in good photos. Sometimes kids run off, grandmas have to go home early, or we literally can’t find someone. This is the only way to make sure that you get people fresh and for sure.
Ceremony
A. If you have a videographer, I will be in touch with them that day. They need to get out of my way for the kiss photo. I’ve had videographers FORGET THIS and I’ve had to work around them. Yes, videos are important, but keep in mind; you’ll watch it twice a year… you’ll see photos all over your house the rest of your life and your kids lives and your grandkids lives EVERY SINGLE DAY.
B. Your maid of honor has ONE JOB which is to make the bottom of your dress look good once you get up there. I end up doing this 9/10 times and it is entirely awkward for me to bend down in front of everyone and stop taking photos to do this constantly. (I still will, but if they can help, it really helps the whole thing look better).
C. If you have more than 30 people in the audience, have the officiant hold a mic up to both of you. No one likes a ceremony with a soft talker who no one can hear!
D. When you leave the alter, act happy. This sounds so ridiculous but throw up your hands, kiss, dance, anything! You’re married! Yay!
Food/Bev
A. It’s rare that people forget about me / the videographer, but we have to eat too. 9/10 I have an actual seat. I rarely eat in “the back” standing up. I need to be out there with everyone in case something important happens, so literally put me at a table. I often need to sit decently close to the head table so that I can see the bride and groom and take photos periodically. If I’m out of sight, eating in the back, I’m bound to miss something important. Also, and this is just so things flow, I need to eat the same time as the bride and groom… which is typically first! (thank you, you da best!)
B. There is a lot of downtime for me during the dinner. I try not to be invasive and people HATE having photos taken of them while they are eating, so I usually sit down, stand up, sit down, stand up. I take about 1200 photos throughout the day and there is no use in me taking photos constantly when they aren’t needed, especially during the reception. Just don’t be alarmed when I’m sitting down for 15 min, it isn’t because I’m taking a break, it’s because there is literally nothing to photograph at that point (that you will want).
C. It’s a good thing to put stanchions or signs that tell people dessert is off limits until after dinner. They will help themselves if you don’t specify otherwise.
Reception/Sendoff
A. Speed things up. No one wants to sit around talking to your great aunt for too long. People’s attention spans are not at the slow rate of your proposed schedule. Make sure the DJ knows to keep things moving along. People leave way before you think they will (especially if they have to pay for booze or it is hot as *** outside). Just get it all going.
B. I rarely stay for sendoffs. Not many people are left anyways, but both you and I are going to prefer that I go home and work on your sneak peek photos than sit there doing nothing until a sendoff. You can have friends take photos of the sparklers.
Okay, this blog may need a Part II but this is all I can think of for now! You’re going to have a blast!! Don’t worry too much and have fun!